I Can’t Bear My Neighbours Backbiting

Someone asked this question: ” I was being disrespected in my entire neighborhood for 2 years. Some people have started backbiting me, telling everyone that I am gone mental or lunatic. The people started to believe them and verbally abused me. How can I defend myself? Now I suffer from depression, anxiety, and grieves. I am basically sitting at home for 2 years.“

ANSWER

As-Salamu Alaykum,

I’m sorry to hear that you feel you’re being disrespected in your neighborhood. I can imagine this must feel really horrible for you.

As we know, backbiting is a huge sin. Those that are backbiting and gossiping about you obviously have no fear of Allah nor any remorse for their lies and abuse. However, Allah will deal with these people.

Getting Counseling

In the meantime, I kindly suggest that you engage in ongoing counselling for the depression and anxiety that you are experiencing.

Even if it is a result of the gossiping and backbiting that has been going on, it still needs to be addressed.

In sha Allah, you will see the benefits of counselling

Examine your Attributes and Good Points

I also kindly suggest that you start examining your attributes and good points and reviewing them daily. You may want to write them in a notebook or journal so you can review them easily.

By looking at your good points daily, you can start to negate the wrong things that are being said about you, and start to overcome any feelings of shame, inadequacy, or fear.

By strengthing your self-esteem and self-confidence, you are building yourself up internally.

Appreciation for Self

By correcting negative thoughts internally you can then begin to see how wonderful a person you are and begin to appreciate what a fine person you are.

When one appreciates themselves and has a solid sense of self, it makes it easier to confront and negate things like you have been experiencing.

Between counselling and increasing your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, you will be able to go back outside in the world again in sha Allah, holding your head high.

Outcomes of Backbiting

There is nothing worse than backbiting it is very harmful and hurtful.

One of the devastating outcomes is that some people feel so bad that they become reclusive as you have.

In a way that is giving the people who are doing this backbiting a winning card.

This is to means that instead of ignoring them and holding your head high and continuing on with your life and business, you have let them overcome you with their lies, and you have retreated.

Do Not Let Them Win!

Bullies liars and backbiters love nothing more than to cause chaos in other people’s lives. Insha Allah does not let them do it any longer!

I know it may feel uncomfortable to start being proactive and getting your life back but you can do it. I have full confidence in you.

Once you take the first few steps towards resolving this, in sha Allah the rest will come easy.

Conclusion

Build up your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Seek counseling to deal with the depression and anxiety that has been a result of this treatment.

Pray to Allah for ease, protection, and strength.

Know that this will pass, but know that you must take steps forward and not let the sinful behaviors of others affect nor harm you.

Allah is your protection and mercy and…the truth always comes out sooner or later! 

We wish you the best,