A Journey of a British former party girl became a Muslim!

As a teenager, I was like a bull in a china shop.

Weekends were all about partying. Back in those days, the weekend would’ve gone like this: whose ID are we using? What outfit am I wearing? Then it would be the pre-drinks, then who’s taking us to town?

The party wouldn’t stop until four or five AM in the club, then it would be on to a house party afterwards, then waking up with a hangover.

I remember getting into fights with girls and having cigarettes flicked at me.

But it got too much. Things had to change.

So I became a Muslim.

I was using alcohol as my coping mechanism and going through emotionally-draining experiences that I couldn’t really make sense of. I was struggling to see a purpose in my life and I wanted to do better for myself. I didn’t know what I was doing.

‘I burst into the house like, I’m Muslim now!’

The summer before I went to university, I had a summer job in a call center. One of my friends there, Halimah, was Muslim. I did the Ramadan fast with her, and that was my first exposure to Islam. I wasn’t thinking about joining a religion at that point – it was more of a personal challenge. My ego was saying, ‘it’s 30 days of fasting, I can do that’.

When I first started fasting, I was still partying and drinking, but my attitude started to change. I started having these moments of, ‘I am better than this, I’m worth more’. That month of abstinence made me feel a sense of selflessness and gratitude, and gave me the self-care package I needed so desperately. That was my calling card to Islam.

I grew up going to Sunday school. My parents wanted me and my sister to understand faith. My dad is Black British and went to (a Christian) church, and my mum wanted us to have a knowledge of faith, but they didn’t force it on us. There aren’t any practicing Muslims in my family.

During my first year at uni, I was seriously researching Islam and considering becoming a Muslim. I was back and forth between university in Salford and my parents’ house in Huddersfield, but they didn’t know the extent of my interest in Islam. I kept it pretty under wraps until one day I burst into the house with my headscarf on like, ‘I’m Muslim now!’

My parents were shocked and confused, but they weren’t unhappy. They questioned my choices a lot and wanted to ensure I was making the right decision.

‘Men don’t bother me now I wear a headscarf‘

That meant I threw away bags of clothes I didn’t think were appropriate any more, removed my false stiletto nails, changed my name on social media, deleted lots of racy photos and created a new Facebook page so nobody could see me. I thought all those Western clothes were haram (forbidden in Islam). I felt like I couldn’t be around anyone drinking alcohol.

I feel more comfortable. I can get one place to another without anyone stopping me – the way I used to dress, I used to get stopped loads. On a ten-minute walk to university I got stopped about five times. Men now don’t bother me at all!

I was still at university when I took my Shahada (the testimony of faith). I didn’t plan it, but I went to Eccles Mosque in Salford with a list of questions for the imam. He answered them, and said, ‘repeat after me…’ so I did, and then he said: ‘Congratulations, you’re a Muslim now!’ I was so overwhelmed, but delighted that I’d finally done it.

The Muslim community welcomed me in so much. I’ve met a few friends for life through Islam – they reminded me of what sisterhood is supposed to be. We can talk to each other freely, we’re honest with our guards down and we’re each other’s solace when times get tough. My friends are my strongest support system and I’ve come to learn that over the years nothing matters more than the people you keep around you.

‘I tried to end my life‘

I didn’t get everything right. I have reverted a few times and drunk alcohol when my mental state went down but that was very early in my reversion.

It’s not happened for a long time now. My determination to go back and behave better, and heal won every time. And now I don’t think twice about being tempted – the risk of relapsing feels far gone. It’s okay to not get everything right, it doesn’t mean I’m not committed to the religion.

 Getting drunk led me to a lot of dark thoughts. It was after a really bad duration of waking up naked on the kitchen floor that I knew I had to make a change. I’d passed out from drinking too much. It felt hellish.

That’s why I say Islam saved me, because now I know the best way for me to handle those dark times. I wouldn’t have coped this way, by praying and taking care of my mental health as well as physical, if it wasn’t for Islam.

This is the story of Persephone Rizvi as told to Thea de Gallier which is a part of a new life documentary on BBC3 in it Persephone Rizvi tells how Islam saved her.